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| The independent answer to your debt problems | login join |
| helpmenow | 15-05-2007 01:18 PM |
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Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 35 My Profile | If feel quite nervous posting here. I have never done this before but my stress levels so high I feel sick. I have a huge amount of debt and can't see a way out of this problem. I can't sleep, feel tired , can't concentrate, constantly bursting into tears and I'm finding work difficult. I am currently off with stress. I have lost a lot of money gambling. I started to gamble when my boyfriend left me for another girl. We were living together and we had just starting renting a house. We bought lots of lovely things to go into it, things we couldn't afford. we went on nights out and on romantic holidays and spent money as if there was no tomorrow. Nearly everything was put on my credit card but John just kept saying that he was due for promotion and would pay me back the money he owed me. When he left he just ignored my cries for him to help me with the credit card bills. When I worked it all out I had £12k worth of debt. I worked in a supermarket as sales supervisor and found trying to pay my debts really difficult. So I did the really sensible thing of trying my hand at poker on the internet to try and get win some money to pay off my debts. I enjoyed playing as it was a good distraction from John and my debt problems. But now I have got myself into a terrible mess. I think I now have £25k of debt and I don't know what to do. People may think that I a deserve my situation and I probably do but I feel so isolated that I have to talk to someone. I would appreciate any form of help. Be kind. |
| DW George | 15-05-2007 03:54 PM |
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Joined: 01 May 2007 Posts: 174 My Profile | Helpme Well done for posting. Nobody in this forum will judge you. We will help you see the woods from the trees. Being in debt and suffering from stress has a substantial effect on your life. Firstly you need realise that there is a solution to your debt problem regardless of how much debt your are in, there is a way out. Think about that for a minute. Now if you understand this simple point the rest of the problems can be addressed with a clear mind. Stress is caused by you trying to resolve problems which you think are extremely complex. By breaking down your problems into manageable steps will make things seem more realistic and achievable. What we need from you is a SOA (Statement of Affairs) which will break down the level of debt you have and how it can be addressed with the money you have coming in. From this we will identify the options available to you. As with money other people who have a debt problem they have their demons. For many its shopping, others its a gambling. However, the root cause of their demons can be varied. If we are going to help you with your debt problem I think you need to examine your gambling habits. First port of call is Gamblers Anonymous. Next, or perhaps equally, draw up a SOA, at the very least add up all your debts. Set aside an evening for this and honestly go through what you owe and what you need to survive on. Post it and we will give our opinions on it. Keep in touch. Plan of Action Contact GA Draw up a SOA Post it Examine your options Decide on course of action Stick to it Problem solved |
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UpToMyEyesInIt
| 15-05-2007 04:12 PM |
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Joined: 12 May 2007 Posts: 5 | helpme I'm skiving at work here and read your post. Just to say I am thinking about you and hope everything turns out alright. I'm sure it will. I have been a member for nearly week and so far it has helped me get back £1500!! Good luck and keep us updated. |
| helpmenow | 15-05-2007 07:54 PM |
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Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 35 My Profile | Thanks for the quick response I appreciate your concerns. I never really considered that I had a gambling problem. I was using gambling as a kind of escape and a means to pay off my debt. I am not really sure about visiting Gamblers Anon. My SOA I will try and do tonight, (telly is rubbish) I'll try and post my it tomorrow. Again thanks for your help. I didn't realise how motivated I would be about having a plan. Big up DW |
| DW George | 15-05-2007 08:02 PM |
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Joined: 01 May 2007 Posts: 174 My Profile | No worries helpme. Just post that SOA and try looking at the website for GA. The worst thing you can do is to get your finances organised but fail to address the underlying problem of your debt. So why not even give them, a phone and see how you get on. Speak to you tomorrow. |
| James H | 27-05-2007 04:58 PM |
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Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 32 My Profile | I am a bit concerned that Helpmenow has dissappeared. Please let us know that you are alright. No problem is insurmountable with assistance and support. Please get back in touch.......soon. |
| mallorca | 28-05-2007 02:13 PM |
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Joined: 28 May 2007 Posts: 17 My Profile | helpmenow people like you make me feel sick. I worked for 7 years in the loans business and someone like you is born every minute of the day. You stated you could not afford the things that you put onyour credit card so yoiu thought you would gamble at poker, unreal. |
| DW George | 28-05-2007 08:13 PM |
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Joined: 01 May 2007 Posts: 174 My Profile | mallorca Thanks for your other posts. We do not judge on this forum, however much we disagree with the posts or what they have done to get into debt. Your experience in the credit industry will be useful to other members. You could be poacher turned gamekeeper. |
| helpmenow | 28-05-2007 09:39 PM |
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Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 35 My Profile | Thanks for your concern James. I'm ok, a bit down this weekend, the dog that John bought me has also ran off. It never rains but it pores. Mallorca, i can understand you think I am a fool. I know I have been stupid and now I am trying to sort things out. I am going to go Gamblers Anon. I spoke to someone and he was really friendly and helpful. Slowly I am getting things back on track. |
| MALLORCASPAIN | 28-05-2007 09:43 PM |
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Joined: 28 May 2007 Posts: 10 My Profile | A bit strong calling me a poacher. |
| MALLORCASPAIN | 28-05-2007 09:47 PM |
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Joined: 28 May 2007 Posts: 10 My Profile | So what are you going to do, gamblers anon will not pay the debt? |
| DW George | 28-05-2007 10:02 PM |
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Joined: 01 May 2007 Posts: 174 My Profile | mallorca I wasn't trying offend you. I was merely saying that this forum would value people with your experience. Having experience in the loan industry and helping out those who ar in debt would be the same as a poacher becoming a gamekeeper or other way about. :) George |
| MALLORCASPAIN | 28-05-2007 10:09 PM |
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Joined: 28 May 2007 Posts: 10 My Profile | George i know what you mean, everyone in the finance business makes huge comms that is why they do it. I am glad to see you helping people get there money back from banks, people should also try this with loan firms i worked as a broker for a huge company in the UK i worked with every major and small lender in the UK they hate to be in the press and if you push them you will always get your money back. If anyone has payment problems on secured loans post the problem i know every way possible for the consumer to win and how to take the companies on at little or no cost and win. |
| James H | 13-06-2007 08:56 PM |
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Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 32 My Profile | Helpmenow Keep your chin up and your mind open People will criticise your past but you are moving in the right direction now. James |
| helpmenow | 29-06-2007 12:31 PM |
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Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 35 My Profile | Sorry for being away for so long, but I think I have turned the corner. I am attending a meeting of like minded people who are helping me with me gambling. I realised what it was doing to me, just making me miserable. We only have one life and I'm fed up worrying about money so I have spoken to an IP who has recommended an IVA. My creditors meeting is next Tuesday and I am quite excited about the prospect of getting rid of this milestone of debt. So I'm keeping all of my appendages crossed. XX |
| DW George | 02-07-2007 03:24 PM |
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Joined: 01 May 2007 Posts: 174 My Profile | Good luck helpme for tomorrow. Let us know how you get on. Fingers crossed. George |
| helpmenow | 04-07-2007 02:09 PM |
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Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 35 My Profile | Great news it appears all of my creditors, who turned up, have agreed to my IVA. My IP, who I can recommend, has been brilliant. If anyone is thinking about whether they should enter an IVA, just go for it. Last night was the best night sleep I have had in ages. xx hmn |
| DW George | 09-07-2007 04:14 PM |
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Joined: 01 May 2007 Posts: 174 My Profile | That's great news. Mind you this is just the start so don't take your eye off the ball in terms of spending. |
