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| The independent answer to your debt problems | login join |
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Boo
| 16-10-2008 09:06 AM |
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Joined: 15 Oct 2008 Posts: 3 | i am so glad to have found this forum. amongst much other debt including joint secured loans my scheming ex craftily asked me to get out credit cards as he couldnt get any due to his credit rating. he ran these up to a whopping amount, i acknowledge responsibility for half. my solicitor says this is one of the most calculated cases he has seen for a long time. essentially i have been left with debt of £85k excluding mortgages. before i met him i had 0 debt. all the other debts are being taken care of through the legal system but i am unable to continue paying big legal bills. as the credit cards are in my sole name, my understanding is that they are fundamentally my responsibility despite his acknowledgment of using them. my solicitor has suggested that i represent myself through the civil courts in an attempt to recover his share of the credit card debt. has anyone been through this and how difficult is it? |
| paladin | 16-10-2008 10:54 AM |
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Joined: 06 Jun 2007 Posts: 99 My Profile | Hi Boo Whow, what an ar*e of a man and verging on criminal to have done what he's done. I don't have any experience regarding taking your own civil action in court and can only sympathise with you and lend you my support. If you were a company and an employee had ran up a massive amount of debt on the company's credit card he would have been done for fraud, why not your ex? I don't understand why credit card issuers still provide joint credit cards they are nothing but trouble. I'll ask about and see if there is anyone else who has been through what you've been through. Perhaps someone on this forum will be able to answer you? P |
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Boo
| 16-10-2008 11:09 AM |
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Joined: 15 Oct 2008 Posts: 3 | thanks paladin. the main problem i face is that they are in my name only and he always promised to pay them back once he got himself straight. however i can prove through the statements that he regularly used them for his own use. the problem is that i trusted him wtih my pin number - life is a learnign experience. this is the man i expected to share my whole life with so why wouldnt i have trusted him? he is a professional conman who when i found out about his double life that his intention was to emotionally and financially destroy me. its a living nightmare. the credit card are on top of all sorts of other loans secured against my property. its a mess |
| helpmenow | 16-10-2008 11:34 AM |
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Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 38 My Profile | Hi Boo Bloody hell, what an evil man. Again, like Paladin I can only offer you my support. Surely this man is breaking some sort of criminal law, there is no way he should be allowed to get away with this. I can imagine at one point you felt utterly betrayed and I guess stupid, but none of what has happened is your fault, you are the victim of a calculating conman you only read about in books. I hope now you realise that the only thing that you were guilty of was trusting him and loving him. No normal person can go through life not trusting and loving someone and to have what happened to you is an appalling breach of that trust and love. Have you tried speaking to the newspapers about your story? It certainly has all the hallmarks of something which they would be interested in and maybe you would get the help of some pro bono lawyer. In any case it would put your ex in the spotlight and warn others about him. HMN |
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Boo
| 16-10-2008 01:24 PM |
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Joined: 15 Oct 2008 Posts: 3 | thankyou for your support. it sure is a mess and one that i never wouldve guessed i would land in a million years. forget the debts, there were a series of other women. so im trying to pick up the pieces emotionally and financially. ive thought long and hard about exposing him nationally but fear the impact it may have on my professional life. i have told his latest "victim" everything he did to me and guess what she didnt believe me (his parting words were "dont worry, ill do the same to her"). oh well, she'd better not come crying to me in time. i believe there may be a case for misrepresentation but not fraud itself. hes just been very very clever in the way he has gone about it. all the sob stories about his past credit rating and i was sucked in right away ill be interested to hear anyones experience of the civil courts in this situation. thanks again for the supportx |
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naive woman
| 01-12-2008 12:34 PM |
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Joined: 01 Dec 2008 Posts: 1 | I'm faced with something similar - new partner arrives on doorstep with nothing but a rucksack of clothes as his ex wife was refusing him access to the house. Due to poor credit rating everything in my name. Moved house to accommodate him and his family. When we seperated he promised to pay me a monthly amount until debt (which was over £40k excluding the huge mortgage I was left with) was paid. Used this monthly as an opportunity to have control of me and several times I was left begging in tears for the money. He gave me a promisory note detailing what was owed and how it would be repaid. Do you think this will help? When we split, due to his emotional bullying, he kept accusing me of seeing someone else and that was why he was not paying me the money due. Can he do that? Stupidly I even paid for his deposit on a rented flat and helped him furnish it. Again can any of this be taken into account because I have a signed promisory note? Louise |
| DW George | 01-12-2008 01:01 PM |
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Joined: 01 May 2007 Posts: 195 My Profile | Hi Louise I don't think that you are naive but just trusting and although you have lost out on this, don't think that being trusting is a negative quality, it's not. I don't know what legal status your promisory note has so I would suggest you speak to a lawyer on this one. Many lawyers offer a free first consultation, you could also try the CAB or there may also be a local community legal group you could try for free legal advice. Sorry I can't give you any more help. George |
